She has an album entitled "my photography", which consists of about 80 different pictures of a tractor that she took on her cell phone. I'm all for freedom of expression, but come on.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I'm in public and Taylor Swift is playing. It is taking all my effort to not screech like a goat.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
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