Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
That shot tasted like Sant Claus came in my mouth. I love the holidays.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Everybody knows the last week of summer internships include showing up to the office hammered and hitting on the CEO
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
