I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
After New Year's Eve I will be hibernating my life away. Only wake me up for skiing, schnapps, and sex. In that order.
He won't ever take me seriously if I keep getting drunk and hooking up with all his friends.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I want a musical about memes.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
I’m going to Lewinsky this place
That makes no sense, but it sounds terrifying
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize