So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
i'm drinking out of my 'black like my president' mug
I am stoned and watching Pocahontas. I am letting the kids eat whatever they want. I am the best babysitter in the whole wide world
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
He could have been a one armed faceless howler monkey. I was so slammered that I didn't care what I was having sex with or if whatever it was... was doing it right.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
I almost had a threesome in a giant beanbag chair. I love college.
Please don't fuck the professor. We both know that won't end well.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
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