i have no idea who im with but someones making meatballs. im going to stay.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
If you're going to outback I'll have to decline, I've slept with a large enough portion of their staff already.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
He told me he wanted to sober fuck the shit outa me... I took that as a compliment
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Also, I don't know if it's the drugs I'm on or not, but I truly believe I was hypnotized last night listening to an audio book.
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Randomize
