wanna go halves on a baby?
I just found 22 drunken videos and 4 naked pictures on my phone. We'll start the bidding at $5
he was like a christmas ornament you would hang on the back of the tree....not great but still made the cut.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
I was masturbating in my bed this morning when my ipod alarm went off and it started playing "show me the meaning of being lonely"
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I think I should start a match.com profile and put "robe lounging" as my only hobby
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
I sent him a tex saying, "I thought my intentions were clear" drunk me has some balls.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
It's like his penis moved in and did some interior decorating without telling me first...
Randomize
