Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
when she said she would show you her other bow, she ment she wanted you to bend her over and see the tattoo on her lower back you idiot
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
Thank god I didn't get free from the hospital restraints. I wouldent have lasted long drunk, startled and in an ass-less gown In D.C.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
The wine is franzia the food is cheese puffs there is a canoe full of beer and the andre glasses are mason jars glued to candle sticks. i shit you not. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I'm not gonna be naked if your not here. Thats like a waste of nakedness
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Randomize
