Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
The empty keg landed on my head. It's a good thing we already got shitfaced or i'd be a vegetable and the humor would be completely lost.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I woke up sandwiched between them, all of us naked, and they were just sharing a cigarette, a donut, and the paper like it was just some normal post-threesome Sunday brunch.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Explain to me again why I'm doing the walk of shame if we fucked at my house?
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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