gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
The worst thing that has ever happened to me happened today. I was taking donations at goodwill and someone donated a clearly used vibrator
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
It's safe to say that bucket of tequila night can NEVER HAPPEN AGAIN.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
This summer isn't about fun. We have to train our livers to survive the next four years.
Just had the best random sex ever with a girl I picked up from a pro choice rally uptown. God bless the Democratic National Convention.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
not that im pissed, but why are there two naked chicks in my bed?
I just found a ladybug shell in my underwear. What was I doing last night?
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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