I'm playing the sound guy on a porno set
I am pretty sure he just licked my hand while trying to sing goo goo dolls iris to me. Get me out of this state.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
did you really just refer to me me as an old fashioned penis?
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I dont pretend to understand how the heterosexual mind works. Its a mysterious cavern of stupidity and disgusting sexual acts.
Randomize
