It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
...and all my boxers are outside in the snow because????
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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