got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
when she said she's going upstairs to put her "play clothes" on, I knew either she was a pervert or a kindergarten teacher. Either way, I wasn't going to leave. She's a pervert by the way.
i've noticed that whenever i have to ask myself "would i be doing this if i was sober?" the answer is probably no.
Dude their dog does tricks for sips of beer. He keeps going up next to people and trying to shake. This is awesome.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
I accidentally got a lemon stuck in your bong. I was trying to make it taste good. Sorry
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
Of course I'll be there. I never miss an opportunity to smell like cigarettes, cheap beer, and shame.
YOU WILL DIE AND I WILL CARVE 'I TOLD YOU SO' ON YOUR HEADSTONE
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
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