I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
Omg. There's def a kid, like 10 years old, sitting in a buggy at wal mart holding a sign that reads "I can't behave"
I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
He's standing in the corner rubbing his nipples and reflecting on poor life choices
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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