Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
I'll be wearing lingerie and holding a bottle of bourbon so pick up whatever food you think goes with that
Who put the toilet in the living room? This is extremely inconvenient right now.
Ran into my FWB on my walk of shame and went back to her place. Even my walk of shames are awesome!!!
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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