dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
I SHIT YOU NOT a mailman helped me leave without waking him up.
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
Like honey no, I’m getting groceries while pretending that having sexy talk with you is turning me on
Randomize