Let's get naked and see who's stronger.
so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Randomize
