I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
i decided if i had to, i could survive with only 3 fingers on each hand.
People...there is no better feeling in the world than finding out via Google that your ex has a warrant out for his arrest. No better feeling.
My dad sent me a 10 ft beer bong and my mom sent me ideas for future careers. I'll let you guess who my favorite parent is. Also, come over tonight. and bring beers.
Idk my boobs are big but i dont think theyre hide a flask in them big..
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
