So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
2 six inch heels, 3 big sangrias, no broken legs
I think I've forgotten how to blink. Help plz?
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
A real best friend would support the hoe in me. Not remind me of what happened the last time I slept with a boss
Randomize
