apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Weird come down, just saw a woman on the train go to grab something and realised she had terrifying hands. They literally filled me with dread. I don't think I'm ok.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
IDK I WAS CAUGHT UP IN THE TEQUILA SHOTS AND FRIENDSHIP
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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