I think that we as people have rights and that we should at the very least be warned before being subjected to Fergie
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
I never thought to pass out in a hotel lobby rather then paying for a hotel room until you taught me that's acceptable at the Hilton
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Just found a bag of weed nailed to the door that my dealer dropped off since I wasn't home. God I love Boulder.
It's like leaving me for his wife wasn't enough. He had to give me an STD too.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
According to the arrest report, I shouted "no, YOU put some pants on" at the cop. Downhill from there.
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
Randomize
