i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I really shouldn't be this use to hearing "YOURE THAT GIRL?!?!"
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
