dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
i woke up to see him pissing on your n64. thats like killing a unicorn. punishable by death for sure.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
They had half off shots during the fourth quarter. I was powerless.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
I knew you would eventually ask my secret. Pedialite mix drinks. Works wonders.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
I have wine with a bendy straw bitches I can do fucking anything
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