Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
In my drunk state I was like I ONLY HAD SEX WITH SOMEONE ELSE BECAUSE HE WAS THE HOTTEST GUY IVE EVER EVEN SEEN
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
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