Im at strip club and am horny
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I answered the door to some Jehovah Witnesses hungover and wearing nothing but a white tshirt. I think they made it the church goal to reform me, we've gotten four pamphlets. My mom's going to make me convert if they keep coming.
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
having flashbacks of licking salt of your dick for my shot of tequila
Probably not. Getting pulled over and puking my guts out on the side of the road in front of the cop and him making fun of me, was not my finest moment. Plus I lost my debit card.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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