i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
I don't think anything is more terrifying than the thought that you might shit your pants in front of your boss
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