I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
at what point last night did i decided to have a photo shoot with your camel toe
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
id say I'm a pretty good fuck buddy, i didn't even booty call him on his girlfriends birthday
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
I have got to stop taking so many uppers and downers simultaneously. My life is a Dali painting.
its like a catch 22, sucks that you've stopped, but its like a vagina high five
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Vegas never ceases to amaze me. Hung out with a stripper from ATL all night and got nuthin, but the next night meet a bride-to-be who gives me a bj in the elevator.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
