I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I suppose what I've learned from this experience is that sometimes you just have to make out with a narcissistic baby daddy to make a clean getaway.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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