Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
How could you not respond to a text containing the words "goat man" ?!?
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I didn't notice because vodka
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I'm so glad I can be everyone's guide to the world of fucked up kinks
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
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