Woke up this morning to a janitor hitting me in the head with his bucket in the hallway of my building. An alumni was next to me because we locked ourselves out of my room and couldn't figure out where my roommates were.
Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
can you imagine how much money lesbians save on birth control?!?
bitches.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
Wikipedia just saved you three hours and $30 on a bar tab. You should donate.
$5. Donated.
I'm sitting in my car avoiding a customer. Apparently the new year hasn't affected my attitude nor work ethic
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