ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
she's into porn, im staying here tonight
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
When a chinchilla decides to sit on your face while you're getting head from its owner, you bond.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
When was the last time you made a good decision when you could've made a shitty one
I had a salad today
Screwed a girl without a condom but hey at least you got your veggies
Lets play a game called: how out of it are you today? Let me know if you can beat driving on the wrong side of the road twice and walking up two extra flights of stairs just because you weren't paying attention to what floor you are on....
Someone just asked me why I drink so much. Im gonna slap a bitch
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Sorry didnt text you yesterday. had to put restraining order on my ex.
Randomize
