Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
This time, try to not get fingered in the middle of the living room.
I DIDNT GET FINGERED
I was rubbed
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Part of my tooth flew in my eye when the dentist was drilling my cavity then I was sent to the ER. Fucking never going back
She'd probably like you more if you'd stop fucking her husband.
Randomize
