we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
he was pretty good aside from the whole putting his tongue on my butt thing
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
The bride says you won't want any of the single ladies...
Let's let the open bar be the judge of that.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
like stop just cause your whole life has been one enormous reject pile does not mean that i have to suffer too
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
it looks like a nuclear can of fuck blew up in here
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
I just bought two 8 Balls of Coke from the chick nurse that stitched my leg together in the ER after my bike accident last summer.
Randomize
