I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
We've been here 3 hours and the only 1 word answer she didn't give was the drink order. Don't think I'm getting laid tonight
That would explain his violent outburst while watching barefoot contessa...
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
Randomize