your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Reason #437 to hate Louisiana: Just went to the public bathroom at work. It was so humid the toilet seat was damp and sticky. Either it's the humidity or I sat in somebody's yesterday piss. I choose to believe the humidity.
Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
I told her my cab was outside the club and that I had to go, but I think we both knew this wasn't going anywhere past the sloppy bathroom handjob.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
My ex is stopping by while he’s working tonight after delivering a pizza to fuck me, then going back to work at Pizza Hut. This is what my life has become.
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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