Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
organizing the empties. That sober.
I'm considering telling her about my dream where I made a sex tape with her boyfriend. you know to test our friendship
Oh, and thanks to you. I'm now stuck in the living room, held hostage, listening to my roommate's "How I discovered I was bi" story. FUCK YOU.
He's currently rapping every word to 'more money more problems' at what could be a over 30s gay bar. I'm not sure yet. More info to come.
She called to say she's single and blow job season is back.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
my spring break was before theirs and i literally fed him vodka all week, only stopping for class and bowls. like handles. i cant even think anymore, that chastity belt was hard to get off,
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
Randomize
