thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
our school mascot just walked into class and threw condoms everywhere. welcome to college
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
update: last drink of the night and im naked in my porch hammock. life is good.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Ummm Im the uneducated alcoholic of the group... if I say its a bad idea, its probably a bad idea.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
It's not a real holiday until someone pees on you. Did someone pee on you?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
She's walking to the bar while holding a fifth of fireball, talking on the phone and puking like its nothing out of the ordinary
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Randomize
