what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Oh my god I would go to planned parenthood the same day I get my nipples pierced
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
Randomize
