I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
Moment of the night: you were impatient while I paid for the tequila shots and proceeded to lick and salt MY hand for me. This is why we're roommates.
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
My pants are like a grocery bag containing ONLY jelly beans right now.
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
he went down on me and a few minutes later he asked to show me a magic trick. then he pulled a quarter out of my vagina
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