you should just get pregnant. that way you don't need to decide on a career.
Little spoons don't ask big questions
I'm in the laundromat a drunk armenian guy keeps trying to help me fold my laundry. Ah i'm going to miss queens.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
i'm sorry for cheering you on when you were making out with him. i was just celebrating the fact he was decent looking for once
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Bitch, I been tryna reach you all day to talk to you about these Dorito tacos.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
I like to oil my gears with cheap vodka and strangers
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
Randomize
