Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
I saw a 60 yr old mans penis last night. Just for the record.
It's christmas eve and my mom blacked out before me. If she beat me at that, what have I been learning at college?
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Full contact beer pong was definitely not my best idea.
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.
I'm supposed to nail the old lady at 1:30 so I'll see you at 1:35ish.
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
my ex finally blocked me on all social media and tbh I'm only pissed because his roomate just got a puppy
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
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