I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
He kept saying it was because he was allergic to the chicken. Then he threw up on my mom.
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
I hit an all time low we ran out of coke and I met up with my dealer at 8 in the morning for a re-up. great customer service though.
She stood up through my sunroof the entire drive home. screaming her ass off and singing free falling..
Dude whoeverrs house this is has only creeam cheese and beer in the fridge. Thats my kinda diet
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
Randomize
