Soap is not a condiment
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Im at a party and this guy hitting on me just showed me his 'caution choking hazard' tattoo right above his penis. There goes any chance he had of getting laid tonight.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
this year we will have multiple halloween identities. lesbian couple meets brian and stewie
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
I snapchatted him 4 pictures of me as Tarzan's dad so if he never talks to me again at least we'll know why
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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