he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
The other night I NICELY told her she looked like Jack Sparrow
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I know what I want to do this Friday. However, it might end in me getting kicked out of an arcade and a mini golf course.
I know this sounds fake but she's deep frying a bar of soap right now
Come fucking get her
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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