I feel great
I just peed on a car
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
I'd suck anything for a pizza right now
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
how do you play pong handcuffed?
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
Randomize
