TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
sitting next to michael phelps in the airport. wonder if he's carrying...
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
ill do whatever it takes for me to get more high and eat pie
Bruises. Everywhere. Table sex is dangerous
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I'm just trying to absorb as much of the fluids from the carpet as I can.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
you know it was a successful halloween when you wake up and have a firecracker in your tits
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
