im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
She just kept screaming you name over and over. Im starting to think this is my alarm clock
my roommate just showed me the scar on her forehead... that she got from a shake weight... That. just. happened.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Ahh good point. I got some interesting mental pics and I'm slowly entering a "fuck it, lets do weird shit" phase sexually, but you may have already figured that out since I've been fucking you sideways and upside down a lot lately.
He didn't get laid that weekend.. and that is honestly an accomplishment for the rest of us.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Third time this week I've caught co workers dry humping. Quarantine really changes people's priorities.
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