You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
My goal is to upperdeck the house I'm at, because it's some girl I don't know's birthday. Welcome to adulthood, bitch.
It was the best of bangs; it was the worst of bangs.
You have to summon your inner elephant
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
Randomize
