Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
I've only been here for an hour and I've already made 6 babies cry.
Happy Birthday
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
Less than a month to go... I do not understand how I was able to put up with a roommate who wears bright green Crocs for a year.
I've finally done it. I finally achieved my lifelong goal of becoming that awkward lesbian in high school who went on to have sex with more women than any of her male classmates.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
Randomize
