Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Are you stuck outside of your house because you forgot to walk up stairs? Cuz I've been there.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
I don't remember much from my 21st, but my mom said I insisted on the fat guy taking body shots off me
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
