I know...I feel like disliking her as a person on facebook
Thanks for sticking it out with old horseface last night... I owe you one buddy.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
I'm going to empty my bank account and roll around in the cash. Want to join?
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
What do you bring to an "I'm getting divorced party?"
.......Shattered dreams and tequila?
I went to the hospital to have my arm checked out, and they already knew the story. They gave me props for posting photos on facebook before even coming to the hospital.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
