some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
I had to keep telling myself 'you can't be mad at him because you peed on him'
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
I've never known a porn star before
There's not even an emoji for this
he's been dating her for 18 months and cheating on her with me for 16. if that's not commitment, i don't know what is.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
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