he thought i was a dude.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
I'm going to make an art book filled with pics of me peeing in every bar bathroom I've ever been in. Dedicating it to you. You're welcome.
I'm confused are we getting high or did someone actually die?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
.......The other day I peed on him in the shower....he was trying to touch my boobs and I wanted my space.
When he was fat he reminded me of my high school best friend and I just wanted to hug him and hug him. Also, he's funny and humor is the fastest way into my pants after Doctor Who and liquor.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
