I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Totally just met the chick getting nailed in our lobby last night. Should I bring it up?
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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