The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
explain to me why "crisis hotline lolz" is in my contacts?
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
There's people holding up abortion signs everywhere. I guess the people of Florida want you to remember you fucked up on Spring Break.
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
Saying you need a hooker then asking me to have sex is NOT the way to get laid. Booty call 101.
Your final is gonna be as easy for you as getting into straight girls' pants is for me.
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
Just make sure you put pants on
....then im not going
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