it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
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