Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
i feel like my tongue has its own mouth, and that mouth just bit its tongue and is clenching its teeth.
A part of me realizes this is a bad time to text. But I override it with my awesomeness
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
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