you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
in my drunkeness I still was able to plan for the morning. I duck taped my keys, a water bottle full of mimosa and my cell phone to the front door.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
We were debating whether you had hooked up with him. I was right for the record.
Can you tell me why Star Wars Burlesque is pulled up on my phone from last night?
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
Randomize
