Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Tonight will be judged a success if I walk out without having thrown up on my shirt.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Randomize
