soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
I tried saying sorry but instead I puked down her shirt and tried to clean it up... Now I have a bruise on my forehead. good news, before she left she wrote her number on my stomach with sharpie
Randomize
