The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
want me to make you a grilled cheese? I can't guarantee it'll be as good as yours but i'll go down on you afterwards if you want
brb printing out this text and putting it on my bedroom wall
well, at the moment I'm sleeping in someone's closet in a buzzlightyear snuggie, so I can't judge,
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
Yes we can sext. I'm taking my socks off.
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
