your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
My dad is drinking wine out of a measuring cup. This explains so much.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
I don't think you understand what laundry day means. I am wearing a swimsuit as underwear and my spanish club tshirt from junior high
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
still drunk on my way to class to give my presentation on the negative affects of alcohol on the body. hell yes.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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