My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
Don't be mad at me. I know peeing in your drawer is 1 thing and peeing on you while you're sleeping is another, but im sorry..i love you
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Road head absolutely translates. That's the beauty of road head... It's so portable!
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
