my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
There's no point in calling it Big Titties Tuesday if girls with big tits don't get anything special
well I think it'll pretty much be gone by Saturday. On a scale of 1- Snooki's unborn child how much do periods freak you out?
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
Seriously, don't even. "Hi, have I seen you half naked covered in bright red body paint on the internet?" is NOT acceptable water-cooler chit-chat.
Aw.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
I know he's gay. But if he touches my vagina I'm human centipeding his face. Sorry not sorry
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
Just learned a very valuable life lesson. Never motorboat a cat when they have claws.
Randomize
