I want to stick my p in your. b.
i'm touring the leper colony via mapquest street view so we dont have to go there
Literally just as i started to cum the church bells next ot my house began to ring. either it was the most epic timing ever or god was watching and congratulating me
dude totally just got the jungle juice out of my white top. i am really ready to be a trophy wife.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
No kiss but I got free McDonald's so at least we can focus on what is really important here
We can't go out this weekend. My uterus is so desperate it's given me permanent beer goggles
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
Randomize
