I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
the wall and i were having dominance issues.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
I'm going to need to borrow your helmet cam for my Wednesday night blackouts.
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
She judged ME for picking my nose when SHE has the clap.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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