I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
Just wondering why in an apartment full of stoners there is half a waffle in the TRASH CAN. get ur shit together man
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
She's mad at me cuz I told her having a fuck buddy was too much commitment.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
Your the only friend that would realize I'm gonna get drunk and send coke to me at a bar before I made drunken phone calls for it. You sir complete me.....
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
And then he said he would build me a mountain dew water fountain
Marry him now.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
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