she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
Life lesson. Learning to pee left handed is easier than learning brickbreaker left handed. Rather lose a few drops than a few lives
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
I almost got decked by a guy who looked like Mr. Clean. How was your night?
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
So was this before or after he cried about trump?
After
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
Randomize
