there's paper in my vomit.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
They want to listen to Lady Gaga while they puke.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
You look cute and you are awesome. And that means something coming from a judgmental bitch
I stole a fireplace last night.
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
The fact that you got a stranger guy to buy you a pizza off tinder makes me feel amazing
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
Randomize
